Sunday, February 05, 2006

Tomorrow's news today

Actually, Tuesday’s news today. Monday will be all about the new Conservative cabinet, but I'm predicting we'll start to see this story Tuesday as they move into their new offices. I'm guessing it will first be reported by the ever reliable, never Conservative friendly, Bourque News.

EXCLUSIVE!!! MUST CREDIT BOURQUE!!!
LOUSY LIBERAL LOUTS LOOT, LAY WASTE TO LAVGEVIN BLOCKS!!!

Your humble scribe has learned that when Conservative staffers began moving into their new offices Monday they found the outgoing Liberals had left a trail of destruction. From ministerial offices to the Prime Minister’s Office suite in the historic Langevin Block incoming staffers found computer keyboards missing their H keys, obscene graffiti sprawled on walls, garbage strewn about and desk drawers emptied of their contents and dumped on the floor. “It was like a war zone, it seemed like a hurricane had gone through,” said one staffer. Another staffer ran out of her new office in tears after finding pro-gay paraphernalia pasted to the walls. “It was two guys holding hands as they got married, I can see why she felt ill,” said a staffer that witnessed the scene. No response yet from the lousy looting Liberals on their wave of destruction though Canada’s historic Parliamentary precints, but one source who has witnessed the destruction first hand pegs the damage in the high thousands. "Oh, the humanity!" he said.


*Except, of course, the story will be complete crap. It will be a page right out of the Karl Rove playbook. And the media will lap it up. Today, people still believe outgoing Clinton staff laid waste to the White House, even though the story has been thoroughly debunked.

Stay tuned to find out who wins the Stanley Cup and the Miss USA tournament. :)

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6 comments:

Mark said...

They'll be really pissed when they learn there aren't any "how to" manuals kicking around.

A BCer in Toronto said...

Not even Governing for Dummies?

Red Tory said...

Just out of curiosity, as leader of the official opposition, will Paul Martin now move to Stornoway? I’d heard that his wife disliked Ottawa and wanted to move back home.

Red Tory said...

Let the auditing begin!

A BCer in Toronto said...

I think Martin has said Graham can have Stonaway, but I haven't heard if Graham will be moving-in or not. But Martin will not. Stornaway s the residence of the leader of the Official Opposition which is Graham, even if Martin is still party leader. It's a parliamentary office.

Red Tory said...

D'oh! Of course. Silly me.