Wednesday, June 14, 2006

A Tory blogsphere one act play

Setting: A coffee shop (think Tim Horton's) in Anytownsville, Canada
Players: Coffee Shop Employee
, Average Blogging Tory One, Average Blogging Tory Two

The employee clears an empty coffee mug and wipes down the counter, the bell ringing on the door as our two Tory bloggers walk into the coffee shop and grab two seats at the counter. The employee smiles and walks over.

Hey guys, what'll ya have?

BT 1: Cuppa' joe, plain, none of that fancy pants lefty liberal cappuccino crap.

BT 2:
Yeah, same here Mac.

Employee: You got it guys.

The employee pours two steaming cups of coffee and sets them down in front of our bloggers, who each take a sip.

BT 1: Yeah, that's the stuff. Good Canadian coffee, not like that Starbucks swill.

Employee: You got it brother. So, ya hear the latest out of Oterwa?

BT 2: No, I'm just glad Stephen Harper and the boys are there now to set things straight again, and I do mean STRAIGHT!

BT 1: Amen brother, all these gay marriages have really been hurtin' the sanctity of my marriage!

BT 2: Mine too. But anyway, what happened now man? Media whining again?

Employee: Well last week, in one of them committees, this guy got pissed off at some questions and told the MPs from the other party to, well, F OFF. And yesterday, this same guy and a buddy of his gave the other party the finger, you know, the bird, and this time in the actual House a Commons!

BT 2: Gawd, those dammed arrogant Liberals and their culture of entitlement, it pisses me off! No respect for the opinions of others.

BT 1: Yeah, me too, geez! Ain't there no decorum or respect anymore? Someone disagrees with the Liberals so they flip them the bird? That's what wrong with politics today I tells ya! That's why we sent Stevie and the boys in there, to clean things up and bring back traditional family values!

BT 2: Dammed straight! If my boy tried to pull a stunt like that I'd paddle him red! I bet that dammed Liberal media will cover it all up, you won't see this news in the main stream media!

Employee turns a bit red, looking nervous as he speaks-up meekly.

Employee: Umm guys, actually it was a Conservative MP that flipped the bird and used the F word.

BT 2: Right on man, that's what we need! Good Conservative MPs that tell it like it is and don't take no crap from them Liberanos! I hope they keep it up. I'm proud of them.

BT 1: If I was there I'd flip them Liberanos off too, they deserve it! Good on them boys, I'd buy them a beer if I saw them at the bar.

BT 2: I bet you it will be all over the Liberal media too! The main stream media will say it's bad, but they're just out to get Harper. Everyone knows that. Besides it's not a big deal, dammed Liberal whiners! They gave us the finger and dropped the F-Bomb, boo-hoo!

BT 1: Yeah, Trudeau did it too!

Employee comes back with the coffee pot.

Employee: Refill?


Recommend this Post on Progressive Bloggers


Hammering Jow said...

perfect. hah!

kris said...

it's funny 'cause it's true


robedger said...

Funniest. Post. Ever.

The JF said...

Hehe, so true! Oh, partisanship.

Rabid Liberal said...

Haha, yeah!

I hate those fucking Blogging Tories!

A BCer in Toronto said...

I don't know about funniest ever, but thanks. I considered calling the coffee shop the Echo Chamber Cafe, but I thought that might have been a little over the top. Still, I hope to take it to Strafford next season.