Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Ken Dryden's Yankee Burger-gate

While the blogging hordes have been distracted by trivial matters it seems they've missed an even bigger story: Ken Dryden prefers American hamburgers!

Yes, it's shocking but true. Dryden, even though he played hockey for the Montreal Canadiens, has been making secret, clandestine trips to the United States, to patronize Mr. Bartley's Burger Barn in the Boston area. For shame!


I've heard when Dryden's American burger fetish became known to his staff things nearly came to blows, and many of them quit the campaign in disgust. Don't buy that story about a fundraising pickle; it's merely a smoky (bbq sauce) screen to distract from the real meat between the sesame seed buns.


I ask you, my fellow Canadians, how can we support a man for the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada who hates Canadian hamburgers, and who has spent so much of his life eating American hamburgers? Does he really just expect to come back now, eat a few Canadian hamburgers, and run the country? I think not!

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16 comments:

Manitoba Liberal said...

Considering Dryden's ample girth and the fact that the Star is reporting today that his camapign is flat broke and laying off staff, I have to wonder if he has been directing funds from his warchest to his hamburger craving?

Can we call him Jughead?

I await Mark Watton's response.

SteelCityGrit said...

Only in this country would such audacity be allowed to stand.

SouthernOntarioan said...

Lol... hilarious..

Wonderful logic =)

Anonymous said...

Montreal CanadiEns. Ahem. Silly lad.

s.b. said...

Bc'er eating a few hamburgers is a little different than living outside the country for 37 years and only coming back to be PM. M. Drydens dedication to Canada is unquestionable, unlike at least one other candidate whom as repeatedly refrerred to himself as American and has a non Canadian ex wife, non Canadian children, a non Canadian wife and non-Canadian step children and a non-Canadian curiculum vitae.

Hamburgers really seem like very little next to that.

Sinestra said...

While I'll credit you for a clever blog entry and making me laugh, manitoba liberal's remark about Mr. Dryden's girth is very rude and uncalled for.

The fundraising pickle you refer to is really a case of the pot calling the kettle black, since M. Dion's staff largely went bénévole two months ago. Financial woes are common, but you must admit, Ken Dryden has more fundraising potential than any other candidate. There's no cause for alarm - or rejoicing in your case.

Brant Liberal said...

BCer - best post in the past 4 months of blogging! Brilliant.

s.b. - You are so silly. People who read your rants are going to think you have a obsessive/compulsive problem with citizens of the world who want to contribute to Canadian society. Or perhaps you are discriminatory towards non Canadian wives/ex wives and non Canadian children. Guess what...They walk among us! They pay taxes! They contribute to the Canadian political discourse!

You've sung your song s.b. Bigots and peddlers of discrimination have no place in this party!

A BCer in Toronto said...

In case anyone was somehow (but I seriously don't know how) mistaken, the post was completly tongue and cheek. I like and respect Ken Dryden very much.

On an unrelated note, I hear Stephane Dion always travels with a supply of frozen hamburger patties from Canada's Lick's.

Manitoba Liberal said...

The fact that Mr. Dryden has an ample girth and pointing it out is neither rude, nor uncalled for. If Harper get's called to account by bloggers and the media for packing a middle age pot belly, if Dryden won the leadership I have no doubt that it would be pointed out that the man is not exactaly in Summit Series 72 shape.

With Canadians increasingly getting heavier, heavier according to Health Canada, maybe the country is ready to have a leader that represents our obese selves?

Slim and Trim Jack Layton, Ducceppe, Kennedy, Brison, Ignatieff etc etc, sure do not represent the average physical make up of a 50 year old Canadian.

Dryden should his size to his advantage to connect with the voter.

Ken Dryden can be the Taft of Canada.

Anonymous said...

Isn't this pathetic? So the guy likes American burgers - who cares.

Harper is addicted to coke (Coka Cola that is) which is an "American" company. Oh my, what have I said - I fogot that Harper is pro-American. I wonder if he'll ask Dryden to cross the floor because they both like American stuff.

Isn't there something more interesting to talk about here?

Now, really.............

Nicole said...

Being that I am not a fan of Stay at Home Hatin Big D { my affectionate name for him}, I did find this funny and very creative and of course totally tongue in cheek.
To the ones who are offended...get over it, if we can't laugh at ourselves once in awhile, what's the point?

Sinestra said...

I don't classify this as an attack - it's hilarious,bcer. Minus the girth remark, of course ;)

Sara said...

Would you like fries with that?

James Curran said...

Freaking Hilarious Jeff.

FYI. All the camps are broke. Nobody is paying their staff (oops I mean volunteers).

The What Do I Know Grit

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Jeff, this is great. I had actually just posted on this very subject today, after reading my Macleans magazine. Then I found your site off Zac's. Linked to ya, anyway.

TangoJuliette said...

Wasn't the "fat guy" in the Popeye comix called Wimpy? His standard line was something like: "... I'd like one pf your hamburgers today, if I can pay you next Thursday..."

Sure sounds like Fenny D., on the skids.

Kenny D.? A decent enough goualie for my hometown, though after Vezina, Gerry MacNeil and Jake The Snake Plante, the rest were basically, just "not too bad."

As for Burgers in Germany?

Probably started in a town called Hamburg, possibly. Whaddaya think?

Weiners undoubtedly originated in Wiener (Vienna) would also be my guess.