Thursday, February 23, 2006

Prime Minister announces appointment a Royal Commission to investigate the state of hockey in Canada

Prime Minister announces appointment of a Royal Commission to investigate the state of hockey in Canada


February 23, 2006

Ottawa, Ontario

Prime Minister Stephen Harper today announced the appointment of a Royal Commission of Inquiry to investigate the state of the sport of hockey in Canada, to be chaired by Conservative Senator David W. Angus

"The Hon. Mr. Angus played varsity hockey at Princeton University in the late 1950s, giving him a unique insight into the game," says Prime Minister Harper. "Plus, Frank Mahovlich and Ken Dryden are Liberals and they wouldn't cross the floor."

Following the disappointing performance of the Canadian men's hockey team at the Torino Olympic Games, the government feels it is obvious there is a deep rot in hockey in Canada that must be investigated by a Royal Commission. While it doesn't want to prejudge the work of the inquiry, the government feels that clearly this is somehow the fault of the Liberals, and former Prime Minister Paul Martin.

The commission is expected to call former Liberal sports ministers Dennis Coderre and Paul Devilliers, as well as David Here because he probably had something to do with this mess too.

"This commission will not rest until we find the Liberals responsible for this shameful performance," says Mr. Angus. "Wayne Gretzky won't be required to testify, his Uncle Al was a Conservative candidate so he's probably cool."

The commission has been allocated initial funding of $100 million, and is expected to hold hearings across the country and conduct research via corporate boxes at National Hockey League matches accross North America.

A sole-source contract for legal services to a Conservative-friendly law firm will be announced shortly.

Biography of Senator Angus:

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ottlib said...

I am sure that during this Commmision most of the key players in the Sponsorship Scandal will be called to explain how it effected the state of hockey in this country.

As well, they will question the RCMP to have them explain how the income trust leak was directly responsible for the Team Canada's loss yesterday.

Anonymous said...

I wondr how many useless commissions there were over the years by the LIEberals.

They lost because they had not played as a team long enough, and probably jet-lag played a part.

There, I just saved tax payer bout 2.5 million dollars.

Should I bill the Conservitives?

At least I have a written report - unlike some of the "verbal" reports to the LIEberals who paid much more.

Aunty Bertha said...

The problem is identified by Pronger on the CBC website.

Pronger said his team had a tough time adjusting to the new rules early on, believing the game would be called to NHL standards.

I seem to recall hearing him on the radio this morning complaining that the ice surface is larger than that of the NHL arenas

The bottom line is they went to the Olympics unprepared and arrogant.

Who on earth takes part in a major competition of any kind without knowing the rules inside out and backwards?

Why on earth wouldn't they be prepared to play on a larger ice surface?

Great Aunty Bertha.

(Where do I collect my $2.5 million)

Budd Campbell said...

I liked the bit about the Conservative law firm getting the sole source contract. Does anyone know if all the Federal drug work is going to be, or is in the process of being, moved from Grit to Tory law firms?

Michael Fox said...

The Grit and Tory law firms are the same, Budd.

Wake up.

Jeff said...

Clown wrote:
At least I have a written report - unlike some of the "verbal" reports to the LIEberals who paid much more.

I find that amusing for a number of reasons, but I'll choose to mention just one. I know the report you're refering to and you're wrong, it was both verbal and written (I could point you to hundreads of publically available PDF docs if you're really interesting).

So, one might say you're LIEing. I, however, choose to believe you're just misinformed.