Monday, January 09, 2006

Newest Liberal attack ad: Fathers, lock-up your daughters...and your wives!

According to "an exclusive national poll" done for Sun Media Canadians think Stephen Harper is the dreamiest, and Paul Martin is an old fuddy duddy. I can see the next Liberal television ads now.

But first, the poll. And I love how the Sun touts its exclusivity. Yes, what a fine news organization, really tackling the issues, they are. Anyway, when they asked Canadians whom they found the most physically attractive, the results were:

Harper: 19.9 per cent (I told him to smile more, now it’s paying off)
Layton: 18.8 per cent (mustaches are back in?)
Gilles Duceppe: 8.6 per cent (I thought the ladies would have dug the accent)
Paul Martin: 8.4 per cent (with those baby blues?)

That’s quite a gap, and quite an opportunity for the Liberals. I’m envisioning a quick, 15-second spot that will run in heavy rotation during hockey games, wrestling matches, anything with a heavily male audience.

The Lothario

Picture of a smiling, folksy Harper, eyes twinkling, shaking hands with a comely young lass on the BBQ circuit.

Cut to headline from the Toronto Sun:

Harper cutest: Poll result

Voiceover: Canadian women agree Stephen Harper is the most attractive national party leader.

More pictures of Harper pressing the flesh with attractive young ladies, including various ethnicities.

Voiceover: And Paul Martin?

Picture of a tired, haggered looking Paul Martin, splotcy faced, from one of last year’s campaign signs that was out in the sun too long.

Voiceover: The ladies agree, he’s a dog. I mean, he could be their Grandpa. That’s gross!

Back to a toothy-grinning Harper, photoshopped onto the lawn of 24-Sussex.. Omnious music.

Voiceover: And they say power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Doesn’t your wife find him hot enough already?

Liberal logo, splash screen and Paul Martin doing something spastic with his hands.

Voiceover: On January 23rd, vote for Paul Martin’s Liberals. And sleep easy.

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