Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Baaaad, clean guv'ment

As a public service, I will be regularly posting recent Conservative announcements and speeches in different dialects, via The Dialectizer, to make them more understandable. Today, I give you the accountability package release, in Jive talk.

Federal Accountability Act introduced

11 April 2006
Ottawa, Ontario

Canada's New Guv'ment today introduced da damn proposed Federal Accountability Act t'resto'e Canadians' trust in guv'ment.

"Wid de Federal Accountability Act, we is creatin' some new culture uh accountability dat gots'ta change fo'eva' de way business be done in Ottawa," head honcho Harpuh' said.
De Federal Accountability Act and Acshun Plan would, dig dis:

  • reduce da damn oppo'tunity t'exert influence wid bre'd by bannin' co'po'ate, union, and large sucka'al political donashuns;
  • cut Canadians confidence dat lobbyin' be done edically wid some five-year lobbyin' ban on fo'ma' da mans, deir aides, and senio' public servants;
  • ensho' man sucka's who see problems in guv'ment know dey kin rap down by providin' iron-clad protecshun fo' whistleblowers; and
  • ensho' man Canadians know how deir bre'd be spent by enhancin' de powa' fo' de Audito' General t'follow de bre'd.

"Dese measho' mans gots'ta strengden and streamline guv'ment so's it kin funcshun mo'e efficiently," head honcho Harpuh' said. "We is followin' drough on our commitment t'deliva' baaaad, clean guv'ment t'Canadians."
Canada's New Guv'ment be committed t'wo'k wid all parties in de Crib uh Commons t'ensho' man dis legislashun be passed as quickly as possible.

* * * * *

Also visit, dig dis: www, so cut me some slack, Jack.accountability. Slap mah fro!gc. Co' got d' beat!ca

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