Thursday, September 06, 2007

Libeling the dead is fun...

...and since you can’t get sued for it, there’s no risk. So let’s libel away! After all, it’s not like these losers are around to defend themselves, can they?

John A. MacDonald: Massive drunk. Hated babies. And puppies. And babies playing with puppies. Also presided over a massive illegal kickback scheme to fix government contracts in exchange for donations to his conservative political party.

Winston Churchill: Fatty. Secretly in love with Herman Goering. Had a three-way with Herman and Josef Gobbels.

Tommy Douglas: Threw like a girl. Glasses made him look like a geek.

MacKenzie King: Nutty coo-coo. Ripped the labels off his mattresses, even though they clearly said do not remove under penalty of something legal.

John Thompson, MacKenzie Bowell, Charles Tupper, Robert Borden, Arthur Meighen, R.B. Bennett: Totally gay, made love to their mothers (who all wore army boots), and regularly refused to pick-up after their dogs when they did #2 in public parks.

John Diefenbaker: A total jackass and secret spy for the commies who had an affair with Stalin. Joe was the top, obviously. Try getting that picture out of your heads now. Also, he went #2 in public parks.

That’s just a taste of what you can get in my new book Famous Dead People and Why Suck, available in bookstores soon. Feel free to add your own smack talk on dead people in the comments. Just make sure they’re actually dead though. And I mean life-wise, not credibility –wise.

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Jason Hickman said...

News coverage from the next campaign...

...Stephane Dion's already-unsteady election campaign was rocked today, when reporters were directed to the website of a prominant Liberal blogger (or "Liblogger"), who accused Winston Churchill of sleeping with Nazis.

The damage to the federal Liberal campaign was only slightly reduced by the general consensus that the blogger-in-question's assessment of W.L. MacKenzie King was pretty much spot-on.

The blogger, a well-known journalist whose identity is currently protected by a Court order, refused to be interviewed, but did shout through his screen door that "at least I didn't compare Olivia Chow to a dog" ...

A BCer in Toronto said...

Ha. But I don't even get a made-up and overinflated title designed to tie the made-up scandal even closer to the LPC? Just 'prominent Liberal blogger'? I'm hurt. I'm sure Janke will do better when the time comes, and he writes his long, earnest investigative piece. I hope he uses lots of graphs.

Jason Hickman said...

As long as Janke doesn't borrow the grade-school version of the "My First PowerPoint Show" software that was used to design the ToryLocalCampaignSpendGate graphic on Jason Cherniak's site, he'll be ok.

And yes, I realized that calling you a "prominent" Liberal blogger is the most damning of faint praise, but hell, it's late...

Tim Webster said...

When we remember the dead we also need to remember our own past. Germany was not alone in its anti-Semitic views. Our hands are not as clean as we would like to believe. Brian Mulroney is just reminding us of it.

Anti-Semitism in America reached its peak during the interwar period. The pioneer automobile manufacturer Henry Ford propagated anti-Semitic ideas in his newspaper The Dearborn Independent. The radio speeches of Father Coughlin in the late 1930s attacked Franklin D. Roosevelt's New Deal and the notion of a Jewish financial conspiracy.

Its sad but sometimes this hatred grew to violence.
Sometimes, during race riots, as in Detroit in 1943, Jewish businesses were targeted for looting and burning.

The words of Charles Lindbergh could almost equally apply to the conservative right today. Faced with an extreme situation of course extreme measures are required? But how easy it is to corrupt our real goal by extreme measures. Noble goals are only archived through careful planing, counsel, review and open honesty. Enemies of noble goals are scoffers and mockers recklessly gloating their haughtiness while the naïve follow unwilling raise a due concern.

While I still have my reservations, I have come away with great admiration for the _____ people. .. _____ must have far more vision and character than I thought….With all the things we criticize he is undoubtedly a great man…. He is a fanatic in many ways and anyone can see there is fanaticism in _____ today…. On the other hand, _____ has accomplished results (good and bad), which could hardly have been accomplished without some fanaticism."

The delete words in order are:
German, Hitler, Germany, Hitler

Justin Socie said...

I think I heard somewhere that Mozart played in his own poo.

Just sayin'